grey corduroy suits
revealing pink satin
before stripping down
to smooth orange skin
Too much mirth to contain—
and, really, isn’t that the point?
To splatter drops of joy,
watering seeds of laughter
until smiles bloom
Job Title: Starkeeper
Desired Qualifications: The ideal candidate will possess a fondness for the sky and a commitment to ensuring its proper care. Candidate will be punctual and capable of adhering to a unique schedule in which, for half the year, shifts begin one minute earlier than they did the previous day, and for the other half of the year, shifts begin one minute later than they did the previous day. Candidate will have experience operating the Skysweeper 6000 and the Skyseeder 500, and will, ideally, be able to provide mechanical support in the event that they malfunction. Candidate will be organized and responsible, able to sort and retrieve stars with efficiency and precision.
Duties:The Morning Starkeeper shift begins with checking the Skysweeper 6000 for any functional difficulties. Starkeeper will provide maintenance as needed. Starkeeper will spend the majority of her/his shift vacuuming stars. Once vacuuming is completed, Starkeeper will empty the receptacle on the Skysweeper 6000 onto the floor in the Sorting Room. Starkeeper will then sort stars and place them in designated bins. While sorting, Starkeeper will check stars for luminosity and will replace the sparks in any stars which have become dim.
The Evening Starkeeper shift begins with checking the Skyseeder 500 for any functioning difficulties. Starkeeper will provide maintenance as needed. Starkeeper will then load all bins of stars into the tractor, taking care to arrange them by location for ease of delivery. Starkeeper will spend the majority of her/his shift seeding stars, and will leave the tractor as needed to manually arrange constellations. Starkeeper will occasionally be required to sprinkle or hurl stars toward earth.
Opportunities for Advancement: After six (6) months in Starkeeper position in which Candidate displays excellent work habits and skill, he/she will be eligible to apply for Moon Polishing position.
Compensation and Benefits: Starkeeper will be paid $10/hr. In addition to wages, Starkeeper will be provided premium viewing opportunities for sunrises and sunsets. Once a month, Starkeeper will be allowed to create a new constellation (limit: 15 stars).